Tag Archive | screenname

big spoon to little spoon- come in little spoon

I always love when Sabatino guest posts!

Say what you will, but I love being the big spoon.

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There’s just something to be said about being so close and finding that you fit together like perfect pieces of a puzzle.

Sometimes I crave it.  After a long, stressful day when nothing has gone quite right, there’s nothing I want more than to lazily curl up on the couch or in bed with you, pour us a few glasses of wine, and flip through the latest episodes of Boardwalk Empire.  There’s a certain closeness you get with spooning that you just can’t achieve with other romantic physical activity.  Like, feeling your back up against my chest, hips completely in sync, our legs tangled beneath the covers, and my lips dangerously close to your neck and ears.  To be a little cliche, it really is as if two become one, working together in complete harmony.

I find that spooning, at least for me, is the perfect time to bond with your significant other- when you’re smooshed up against each other and yet it still feels like you can’t get close enough.

For those of you who aren’t keen on spooning, keep in mind that women are very sensually oriented.  Luckily for me [as I’ll never admit to being the most handsome man in the world] they mostly respond to body heat, subtle touches, and fresh scents rather than visual stimulation.  This makes spooning the perfect opportunity to segway in to your other agendas, as your hands and lips are free to roam her body-scape. Plus, being the big spoon puts you in a position of control- something I find most women crave out of the men in their relationships.

Here are a few quick tips for all the big spoons out there.  First of all, your lips anywhere near her neck and ears will drive her crazy. Even kissing the back of her neck, just below the hair line will give her chills.  Subtly kissing her shoulders and the length of her back will peak her interest.  In fact, try running your lips in a curvy pattern down her back without ever lifting them up, slowly working your way down and up again, finishing just behind her ear.  Combine these techniques while firmly gripping her hips and pulling her close to you and you may be in for a long night.  When she turns around and throws her arms around you, you’ll know it’s on- just do me a favor and please don’t turn it in to a cheap 80′s porno.  Keep it classy and passionate.

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Online Dating Tip #1: Username Issues

First rule of online dating: Have a good username. It can make or break you.

For instance, if I see MattyBoy420, I’m instantly going to say no. I don’t smoke weed, nor do I want to date someone who enjoys it enough to make it part of his online identity. Now, you may attract a girl with that, but I’m thinking that you won’t.

Another guy I’ll turn down: SexyStud4U69. Really? First of all, I’m going to turn you down for the 69 in your username. That’s just tacky. And are you that cocky that you think I’m going to start swooning over you because you think you’re sexy? C’mon. In my experience, every guy that has had some sort of sexual inuendo in his screen name was the complete opposite of what he was advertising.

Also- don’t advertise your penis in your screen name. Over compensating much?

Another horrible nickname: UsernameTaken432897. If you can’t come up with a creative username, or if you think you’re being funny, get out of here and don’t waste my time. Chances are you’re horribly boring and I’m not going to want to be around you.

Picking a username can be tricky, since it is the first thing that represents your whole online persona. However, it shouldn’t be that difficult. Think of your hobbies, interests, or even movie/tv/book characters that you like.

Also- try to stay away from numbers. What happens when I confuse MarkyMark272727 with MarkyMark27272? It just shows that you’re not creative enough to come up with your own original name that you had to recycle someone else’s.

Examples of decent screenname: PunkBass, IrishGuy, Love2Travel, SoxFan, ArmyDude, HoldenCaulfield, HanSolo, EngineerInBoston etc.

Ladies, this goes to you, too! Don’t be SexyBustyBlonde30 or BostonBitch and expect to find a nice guy. Make a good username that shows your actual personality. OperaLady, AnnaMolly, Amanduh, and SouthernGal are some alright ones.

If you need more help, feel free to comment and I’ll personally help you come up with a name!

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Cheers!
-Jess