Tag Archive | okcupid

More crappy online dating ‘First Messages’

Hey dudes (and ladies, I’m sure, too). Want to know why no one is responding to your messages on online dating sites? Because you’re sending crappy messages like the following messages I’m about to show you. Please note, these are all word-for-word messages that I’ve received in the past few days.

“Hi. How are you?”

“Hey. What’s going on?”

“You are very beautiful. :)”

“Hello
How are you. Hope you had good day.
Nice to meet you over here .
How was your day.? I have tell you that you have very beautiful smile .. By reading your profile i would say You are perfect combination of beauty and smart..Any fun stuff planed for these spring days .”

“Hello how are you? I’m (name).”

“Hey how are you? My name is Mark and you are very cute and seem like a nice fun person. You sound like a busy girl and have done some really cool stuff.Hope your having a good day”

“think I’m in love will you marry me 🙂 kidding. how are ya?”

“tits”

Seriously guys?! COME ON. I know online dating can seem difficult, but it’s really not THAT hard to write a good first message. Good Lord.

face palm

Palm to the face. Ugh.

Online Dating Annoyance #1 and #2

You know what drives me absolutely insane on online dating profiles?

OUTDATED PROFILE PICTURES.

I just noticed this guy looked at my account, so I went on over to his page and was scrolling through the photos. The first 1-2 photos were a couple months old, but that’s okay. Then they got older and older. He had photos that were labelled 2008. 2008!!!!!!!!! I could get over one old photo, maybe. Maybe. I have a pic of me, that is hilarious mind you, that’s of me being eaten by this hippo thing at a playground in my Army uniform. It’s a few years old, but I throw that ONE photo in there for a few reasons: I was in the military for real and I’m hilarious. 

But to have multiple photos going that far back in time? No. No no no.

 

And you know what else drives me insane? Same guy, last photo. It’s of him and this girl who is kissing his cheek. It’s labelled “2008 party with one of my oldest friends, but we don’t talk much anymore.”  Hi, yea, that’s code for “my ex girlfriend”.

Never ever ever put photos up that have people of the same sex as what you’re looking for in your profile. ESPECIALLY kissing ones. 

UGH! C’mon, people!!

Horrible Messages, #2

I should come clean. While I am one of the biggest Boston sports fanatics, I have to admit that I despise the Bruins. I can’t even tell you how much I cringe when I see that stupid yellow and black B all over the place. I grew up as a Philadelphia Flyers fan and that’s just how I’m always going to be.

That being said, in my OK Cupid account, I had written in my profile that I cheer on the Flyers. This is a message that I received from a lovely young gentlemen, one of Boston’s most brilliant, shining stars:

Sorry miss as a Flyers fan you shouldn’t even be allowed to breathe Boston’s air. Maybe you should move to Philly, because being a true sports fan you should have respect for the teams where you are especially Boston teams….! No other state will ever measure up to the true Title Town that Boston is. Now if you were any other fan but a Philly fan I would never have sent this….well Montreal as well. I mean how could you route for such a douchbag team from one on the shitiest cities in the US……ugh.

You better believe that I took the bait and argued with him for awhile. What a douche bag thing to say to someone! I don’t troll the site and verbally attack Yankee fans! Why did this guy think this was appropriate.

Loser. No wonder why he’s single.

ass