Tag Archive | messaging

More crappy online dating ‘First Messages’

Hey dudes (and ladies, I’m sure, too). Want to know why no one is responding to your messages on online dating sites? Because you’re sending crappy messages like the following messages I’m about to show you. Please note, these are all word-for-word messages that I’ve received in the past few days.

“Hi. How are you?”

“Hey. What’s going on?”

“You are very beautiful. :)”

“Hello
How are you. Hope you had good day.
Nice to meet you over here .
How was your day.? I have tell you that you have very beautiful smile .. By reading your profile i would say You are perfect combination of beauty and smart..Any fun stuff planed for these spring days .”

“Hello how are you? I’m (name).”

“Hey how are you? My name is Mark and you are very cute and seem like a nice fun person. You sound like a busy girl and have done some really cool stuff.Hope your having a good day”

“think I’m in love will you marry me 🙂 kidding. how are ya?”

“tits”

Seriously guys?! COME ON. I know online dating can seem difficult, but it’s really not THAT hard to write a good first message. Good Lord.

face palm

Palm to the face. Ugh.

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Horrible Messages, #2

I should come clean. While I am one of the biggest Boston sports fanatics, I have to admit that I despise the Bruins. I can’t even tell you how much I cringe when I see that stupid yellow and black B all over the place. I grew up as a Philadelphia Flyers fan and that’s just how I’m always going to be.

That being said, in my OK Cupid account, I had written in my profile that I cheer on the Flyers. This is a message that I received from a lovely young gentlemen, one of Boston’s most brilliant, shining stars:

Sorry miss as a Flyers fan you shouldn’t even be allowed to breathe Boston’s air. Maybe you should move to Philly, because being a true sports fan you should have respect for the teams where you are especially Boston teams….! No other state will ever measure up to the true Title Town that Boston is. Now if you were any other fan but a Philly fan I would never have sent this….well Montreal as well. I mean how could you route for such a douchbag team from one on the shitiest cities in the US……ugh.

You better believe that I took the bait and argued with him for awhile. What a douche bag thing to say to someone! I don’t troll the site and verbally attack Yankee fans! Why did this guy think this was appropriate.

Loser. No wonder why he’s single.

ass

big spoon to little spoon- come in little spoon

I always love when Sabatino guest posts!

Say what you will, but I love being the big spoon.

spooning_351301

There’s just something to be said about being so close and finding that you fit together like perfect pieces of a puzzle.

Sometimes I crave it.  After a long, stressful day when nothing has gone quite right, there’s nothing I want more than to lazily curl up on the couch or in bed with you, pour us a few glasses of wine, and flip through the latest episodes of Boardwalk Empire.  There’s a certain closeness you get with spooning that you just can’t achieve with other romantic physical activity.  Like, feeling your back up against my chest, hips completely in sync, our legs tangled beneath the covers, and my lips dangerously close to your neck and ears.  To be a little cliche, it really is as if two become one, working together in complete harmony.

I find that spooning, at least for me, is the perfect time to bond with your significant other- when you’re smooshed up against each other and yet it still feels like you can’t get close enough.

For those of you who aren’t keen on spooning, keep in mind that women are very sensually oriented.  Luckily for me [as I’ll never admit to being the most handsome man in the world] they mostly respond to body heat, subtle touches, and fresh scents rather than visual stimulation.  This makes spooning the perfect opportunity to segway in to your other agendas, as your hands and lips are free to roam her body-scape. Plus, being the big spoon puts you in a position of control- something I find most women crave out of the men in their relationships.

Here are a few quick tips for all the big spoons out there.  First of all, your lips anywhere near her neck and ears will drive her crazy. Even kissing the back of her neck, just below the hair line will give her chills.  Subtly kissing her shoulders and the length of her back will peak her interest.  In fact, try running your lips in a curvy pattern down her back without ever lifting them up, slowly working your way down and up again, finishing just behind her ear.  Combine these techniques while firmly gripping her hips and pulling her close to you and you may be in for a long night.  When she turns around and throws her arms around you, you’ll know it’s on- just do me a favor and please don’t turn it in to a cheap 80′s porno.  Keep it classy and passionate.

Things to keep in mind for online dating safety

Online dating can be a blast, but sometimes it’s tricky to figure out what to put in your profile and what to leave out. Sometimes we get carried away and share too much info when we find a match we’re really into. It happens so fast.

However, there are a few things that should NEVER be a part of your profile- and most of them are for your own safety.

I’m not trying to scare you away from online dating. Online dating is a wonderful way to meet people, but it can be very dangerous if you don’t look out for yourself.

click

Laurie Davis of http://www.eflirtexpert.com has a nice little chapter in her book, Love At First Click, that lists the biggest DON’T when it comes to your online dating safety. I’ll list them for you here, but you should definitely check out her book for more information.

  1. Full name- um, hello. Obvious, right? Don’t give your name in your profile and you should hold onto your last name until after you meet a time or two.
  2. Username issues- Don’t use the same user name that you use on social media sites. For example, I’m not going to use RedSoxChach as my username for online dating, since that’s my personal twitter handle. If my match were interested, he could go and look up my twitter feed, since it’s public, and find out all sorts of information on me. Not a good idea.
  3. Phone number- duh, again obvious. Wait to give out your phone number until you’ve messaged a few times and are comfortable with meeting. You’ll want to give your number out before meeting so you can find each other for the date, but save it for a bit. Also, a good idea is to register with Google Voice- then they won’t have your actual number and you can block them if you need to!
  4. Regular hangouts- I tend to frequent the same few places in my neighborhood. I leave them out of my dating profiles. Why? I don’t need a stalker showing up and following me around.
  5. Home address- You can mention your neighborhood, if you live in a city, but don’t give the specific address. That’s obvious, right?
  6. Work details- You can mention what you do for work, but be careful about writing your job title if you have a unique one. For instance, I’m the Social Media Love Gun for Friend Flirt. If I write any of that, my match can look up Friend Flirt and look up the Love Gun. I’m also pretty sure I’m the only Social Media Love Gun out there, so it would be easy to google information on me , too.
  7. Links- Don’t put up personal links to blogs or articles you’ve written. Just not a good idea. Too much extra information that’s not needed before you meet.
  8. Social Media privacy- Double check your privacy settings. If you’re public, like I am, then remember that your match has the ability to look you up and find out information about you. A match might not be too excited to see how obsessed with the Red Sox I am, or that I reference certain players as my boyfriend sometimes.
  9. Email address- If they have your email address, they can find you online. Duh. Eventually, you can give out your email address, if you want to take the conversation off the dating site, but you should probably register a new account somewhere without your full name- for safety purposes. Be careful before emailing off the dating site- too soon is a red flag for scammers.

Hope these help! Make sure to check out the book because it has a lot of awesome pointers!

Horrible Messages, #1

I’m going to start a segment of posts that will be centered around actual messages that I (or if you’d like to submit your own, that’s cool, too!) have received in my time during online dating.

This is a message that I got a long time ago and it is a great example of what not to do in a message.

the names a given(as it,comes attatched with the message)ha! however if you want to know more it’s gonna take effort.ha so, if your curious/interested, check out my pic and info on my page. if by then you’ve searched your mind,body(ha jk)soul and decided you want to get to know me, you know what to do. if not,so be it. 
laterz!..

 

Um, no. That’s just all wrong. Grammar, spelling, and the attitude- no thanks. Nooooo thanks.

 

 

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