Tag Archive | meeting people

big spoon to little spoon- come in little spoon

I always love when Sabatino guest posts!

Say what you will, but I love being the big spoon.


There’s just something to be said about being so close and finding that you fit together like perfect pieces of a puzzle.

Sometimes I crave it.  After a long, stressful day when nothing has gone quite right, there’s nothing I want more than to lazily curl up on the couch or in bed with you, pour us a few glasses of wine, and flip through the latest episodes of Boardwalk Empire.  There’s a certain closeness you get with spooning that you just can’t achieve with other romantic physical activity.  Like, feeling your back up against my chest, hips completely in sync, our legs tangled beneath the covers, and my lips dangerously close to your neck and ears.  To be a little cliche, it really is as if two become one, working together in complete harmony.

I find that spooning, at least for me, is the perfect time to bond with your significant other- when you’re smooshed up against each other and yet it still feels like you can’t get close enough.

For those of you who aren’t keen on spooning, keep in mind that women are very sensually oriented.  Luckily for me [as I’ll never admit to being the most handsome man in the world] they mostly respond to body heat, subtle touches, and fresh scents rather than visual stimulation.  This makes spooning the perfect opportunity to segway in to your other agendas, as your hands and lips are free to roam her body-scape. Plus, being the big spoon puts you in a position of control- something I find most women crave out of the men in their relationships.

Here are a few quick tips for all the big spoons out there.  First of all, your lips anywhere near her neck and ears will drive her crazy. Even kissing the back of her neck, just below the hair line will give her chills.  Subtly kissing her shoulders and the length of her back will peak her interest.  In fact, try running your lips in a curvy pattern down her back without ever lifting them up, slowly working your way down and up again, finishing just behind her ear.  Combine these techniques while firmly gripping her hips and pulling her close to you and you may be in for a long night.  When she turns around and throws her arms around you, you’ll know it’s on- just do me a favor and please don’t turn it in to a cheap 80′s porno.  Keep it classy and passionate.


Things to keep in mind for online dating safety

Online dating can be a blast, but sometimes it’s tricky to figure out what to put in your profile and what to leave out. Sometimes we get carried away and share too much info when we find a match we’re really into. It happens so fast.

However, there are a few things that should NEVER be a part of your profile- and most of them are for your own safety.

I’m not trying to scare you away from online dating. Online dating is a wonderful way to meet people, but it can be very dangerous if you don’t look out for yourself.


Laurie Davis of http://www.eflirtexpert.com has a nice little chapter in her book, Love At First Click, that lists the biggest DON’T when it comes to your online dating safety. I’ll list them for you here, but you should definitely check out her book for more information.

  1. Full name- um, hello. Obvious, right? Don’t give your name in your profile and you should hold onto your last name until after you meet a time or two.
  2. Username issues- Don’t use the same user name that you use on social media sites. For example, I’m not going to use RedSoxChach as my username for online dating, since that’s my personal twitter handle. If my match were interested, he could go and look up my twitter feed, since it’s public, and find out all sorts of information on me. Not a good idea.
  3. Phone number- duh, again obvious. Wait to give out your phone number until you’ve messaged a few times and are comfortable with meeting. You’ll want to give your number out before meeting so you can find each other for the date, but save it for a bit. Also, a good idea is to register with Google Voice- then they won’t have your actual number and you can block them if you need to!
  4. Regular hangouts- I tend to frequent the same few places in my neighborhood. I leave them out of my dating profiles. Why? I don’t need a stalker showing up and following me around.
  5. Home address- You can mention your neighborhood, if you live in a city, but don’t give the specific address. That’s obvious, right?
  6. Work details- You can mention what you do for work, but be careful about writing your job title if you have a unique one. For instance, I’m the Social Media Love Gun for Friend Flirt. If I write any of that, my match can look up Friend Flirt and look up the Love Gun. I’m also pretty sure I’m the only Social Media Love Gun out there, so it would be easy to google information on me , too.
  7. Links- Don’t put up personal links to blogs or articles you’ve written. Just not a good idea. Too much extra information that’s not needed before you meet.
  8. Social Media privacy- Double check your privacy settings. If you’re public, like I am, then remember that your match has the ability to look you up and find out information about you. A match might not be too excited to see how obsessed with the Red Sox I am, or that I reference certain players as my boyfriend sometimes.
  9. Email address- If they have your email address, they can find you online. Duh. Eventually, you can give out your email address, if you want to take the conversation off the dating site, but you should probably register a new account somewhere without your full name- for safety purposes. Be careful before emailing off the dating site- too soon is a red flag for scammers.

Hope these help! Make sure to check out the book because it has a lot of awesome pointers!

Online Dating Horror Story #1: Jenna’s Catfish

I put up a post on Facebook, asking people to send me some online dating success and horror stories. This post is written by a good friend of mine from college, Jenna. While it’s a hilarious story, and I have many like it, I was horrified for Jenna! Talk about Catfish! There are many times throughout this story that I wanted to yell out “NO DON’T DO THAT!”, but dating is all about making horrible mistakes and learning from them. I hope Jenna is having better luck with dating and online dating now!


Where to start, I initially met my first boyfriend online, but through a mutual friend. We dated for a few years and ended up breaking up mutually. A good friend of mine had met her boyfriend on Plenty of Fish and seemed to be pretty happy so I figured, what the hell, I’ll try it.

This website is addicting, basically online shopping for your ‘perfect match’, I’d spend hours on the ‘meet me’ section clicking through men I’d like to meet, and ones that I knew would be forever alone. I had been on dates off and on from POF and nothing was clicking. I was getting close to just deleting my profile because it was more of a nuisance than anything.

One night, a guy emailed me, his profile pictures were pretty attractive and he seemed legitimate in his profile about me. He could spell, had all of his teeth and was looking for a girl that wasn’t a hooker. I seemed to fit what he was looking for. Plus his message was rather catchy, asking me an insane equation wondering if I knew the answer. At the end of the message he writes, I don’t know the answer either but I know that you’re beautiful and you seem really amazing. Hell, if he was going to take the time to be that creative why not give the guy a chance. We started chatting back and forth and eventually started texting. Texting lead to long phone calls, and it seemed like I had finally met my match. He was educated, employed, lived on his own and attractive. We would spend hours talking on the phone about our life and I had become rather smitten.

One week, we had decided to meet up that Friday to go on a date. He lived in Waterville, and I currently in Chelsea, so not a long commute. One night after a long phone call he tells me to come see him, around 1 am. Being spontaneous, and on a whim I got in my car I started to drive to his house. All of a sudden he texts me and says, no, turn around, it’s late. I had told him, I’m already on my way.

He proceeds to tell me he’s ‘gained some weight’ since his current photos, he’s about 6’6″ and in his photos he was athletic and slender, so I envisioned him with a few pounds and couldn’t imagine it being that bad. I told him it was fine, since I’m not all that thin myself.

Finally I arrived at his apartment, the light inside his living room window was on, and I see this giant silhouette of a man and I can’t imagine that’s him. I almost didn’t dare knock on the door, but finally I muster up the courage and knock on his door. A man I was not expecting opened it and invited me in his apartment. It took all I had not to run off within the first few seconds, he looked nothing like his photos, he was well over a 100 pounds more than he was in his pictures and when he talked, he had such a flamboyant twinge in his voice I couldn’t help but cringe. This ‘few pounds’ was an understatement.

Completely caught off guard he and I laid in his bed and starts kissing me, I have to fight the urge to throw up, and eventually I just lay there not talking, thinking of an escape plan. I had kept my jeans and my long sleeve shirt on, and he tries to invite me to take my pants off by saying I must be uncomfortable. Nonchalantly I say, I could sleep in a snowsuit.

More uncomfortable silence ensues and I just can’t force myself to stay there the night, so I finally roll over and say…”Would you hate me if I left right now? it’s late and I should probably be at home”. He goes “No, no…this is a little awkward I understand.” and as I was about to get up and leave he grabs me and tries to romanticize me by kissing me saying I should reconsider. Recoiling I tell him, no, I really need to head home and I practically run out the door.

Probably one of the most awkward nights to ever happen…sadly, that is only one of the many awkward online dating moments I’ve endured

Online Dating vs. Social Network Dating

People keep asking me about Friend Flirt and why I think it’ll be so much more awesome than other typical online dating sites.

Well, buddy, let me tell you.

I’ve been online dating for a few years, personally. However, I’ve only lived in Boston since August 2011, so we’ll just talk about my experience since I’ve come to live in the Hub.

I’ve tried several different sites. Some sites I found to be quite skeezy. Whether it was a crappy web design or just the users themselves, some sites just didn’t please me. Other sites, I found to be alright, but nothing was coming out of it. I went on many MANY dates through online dating- a few second and third dates, too. I saw potential in some guys, but there were always flaws that I found with each guy that just didn’t work out (not neccessarily online dating’s fault alone, but nonetheless- none of those guys have worked out). Then there were the guys I didn’t go out with. The guys with the RIDICULOUS profiles and OUTRAGEOUS messages were awful. Then there were the fake profiles. Like this one guy that had 20 different profiles, but it was all him. Another guy messaged me, set up a date, and then deleted his profile! We never went out! Oh, and then there was the guy that had like no profile at all and only 2 awkwardly posed photos so you couldn’t really see him. I went out on a whim and went out with him- pretty sure he’s married or his a girlfriend. Great. So yea, rolling the dice with online dating, while fun, is mostly nerve wracking.


To date, my most successful “relationship” since I’ve moved to Boston is with this guy I’ve been casually seeing for the past few months. We actually met in person, through a mutual friend, at a party. Which leads me to why I think Friend Flirt will work better than regular online dating.

Friend Flirt is going to first of all eliminate those ridiculous “about me” sections and horribly put together profiles. Also, you won’t have to worry about what photos to post, because your facebook photos will already be there! And don’t worry about those fake profiles and scammers- only real people will be on Friend Flirt! And even better- those real people are your friends’ friends! No need to worry about Catfish, here!

Who knows you better than your friends? No one. So who better than your friends to hook you up? Exactly!

So what are you waiting for? Friend Flirt will be launching before Valentine’s Day so hurry up and sign up to be a Beta tester!

Make sure to pass it along to your friends as well!!

xoxo Jess


The Best Dating Advice You’ll Ever Read

This goes for online dating and “offline” dating. Really, just dating in general. Actually, it can just be great life advice.

Ready for it? Here it goes:


Seriously! Do you want to date someone funny, interesting, smart, and outgoing? Well you better be funny, interesting, smart, and outgoing, too!

If you’re unsure of what I mean, look at this way:


Now don’t be all cocky and silly and say “yea of course, I’m fabulous!”. Sure, you’re great. But think about this really hard. If you met yourself, would you be interested in getting to know you better?

Now don’t start following your crush’s favorite football team if you don’t like sports. That’s not how this works. Your personal interests can be different.

However, if you want to date someone with particular qualities, then you better be sharing some/all of those qualities.

xoxo, Jess

Don’t forget to sign up for Friend Flirt! Launch is coming soon!!