Tag Archive | dating

More crappy online dating ‘First Messages’

Hey dudes (and ladies, I’m sure, too). Want to know why no one is responding to your messages on online dating sites? Because you’re sending crappy messages like the following messages I’m about to show you. Please note, these are all word-for-word messages that I’ve received in the past few days.

“Hi. How are you?”

“Hey. What’s going on?”

“You are very beautiful. :)”

“Hello
How are you. Hope you had good day.
Nice to meet you over here .
How was your day.? I have tell you that you have very beautiful smile .. By reading your profile i would say You are perfect combination of beauty and smart..Any fun stuff planed for these spring days .”

“Hello how are you? I’m (name).”

“Hey how are you? My name is Mark and you are very cute and seem like a nice fun person. You sound like a busy girl and have done some really cool stuff.Hope your having a good day”

“think I’m in love will you marry me 🙂 kidding. how are ya?”

“tits”

Seriously guys?! COME ON. I know online dating can seem difficult, but it’s really not THAT hard to write a good first message. Good Lord.

face palm

Palm to the face. Ugh.

Horrible Messages, #2

I should come clean. While I am one of the biggest Boston sports fanatics, I have to admit that I despise the Bruins. I can’t even tell you how much I cringe when I see that stupid yellow and black B all over the place. I grew up as a Philadelphia Flyers fan and that’s just how I’m always going to be.

That being said, in my OK Cupid account, I had written in my profile that I cheer on the Flyers. This is a message that I received from a lovely young gentlemen, one of Boston’s most brilliant, shining stars:

Sorry miss as a Flyers fan you shouldn’t even be allowed to breathe Boston’s air. Maybe you should move to Philly, because being a true sports fan you should have respect for the teams where you are especially Boston teams….! No other state will ever measure up to the true Title Town that Boston is. Now if you were any other fan but a Philly fan I would never have sent this….well Montreal as well. I mean how could you route for such a douchbag team from one on the shitiest cities in the US……ugh.

You better believe that I took the bait and argued with him for awhile. What a douche bag thing to say to someone! I don’t troll the site and verbally attack Yankee fans! Why did this guy think this was appropriate.

Loser. No wonder why he’s single.

ass

Let’s Flirt is looking for help from YOU!

Have you been keeping up with the Let’s Flirt show, the official podcast of FriendFlirt?

If you’re not, you can check out iidio or the youtube page.

 

However, we are needing help from YOU!

How can you help? Let me list the ways!!

  • Send me your online dating stories! Good OR bad! I like to hear them all!
  • Got an awesome 6pack? Send me photo proof to add to our 6 Pack Platoon!
  • Do you have a nice pedicure? Send me a pic of those polished piggies to be featured in our Pretty Pedi Posse!
  • Do you want to be on the show? We’re always looking for guest interviews! You can call in, skype in, or even drop in the studio!

Does any of that interest you? Contact me, Jess, at social@friendflirt.com!!!

 

big spoon to little spoon- come in little spoon

I always love when Sabatino guest posts!

Say what you will, but I love being the big spoon.

spooning_351301

There’s just something to be said about being so close and finding that you fit together like perfect pieces of a puzzle.

Sometimes I crave it.  After a long, stressful day when nothing has gone quite right, there’s nothing I want more than to lazily curl up on the couch or in bed with you, pour us a few glasses of wine, and flip through the latest episodes of Boardwalk Empire.  There’s a certain closeness you get with spooning that you just can’t achieve with other romantic physical activity.  Like, feeling your back up against my chest, hips completely in sync, our legs tangled beneath the covers, and my lips dangerously close to your neck and ears.  To be a little cliche, it really is as if two become one, working together in complete harmony.

I find that spooning, at least for me, is the perfect time to bond with your significant other- when you’re smooshed up against each other and yet it still feels like you can’t get close enough.

For those of you who aren’t keen on spooning, keep in mind that women are very sensually oriented.  Luckily for me [as I’ll never admit to being the most handsome man in the world] they mostly respond to body heat, subtle touches, and fresh scents rather than visual stimulation.  This makes spooning the perfect opportunity to segway in to your other agendas, as your hands and lips are free to roam her body-scape. Plus, being the big spoon puts you in a position of control- something I find most women crave out of the men in their relationships.

Here are a few quick tips for all the big spoons out there.  First of all, your lips anywhere near her neck and ears will drive her crazy. Even kissing the back of her neck, just below the hair line will give her chills.  Subtly kissing her shoulders and the length of her back will peak her interest.  In fact, try running your lips in a curvy pattern down her back without ever lifting them up, slowly working your way down and up again, finishing just behind her ear.  Combine these techniques while firmly gripping her hips and pulling her close to you and you may be in for a long night.  When she turns around and throws her arms around you, you’ll know it’s on- just do me a favor and please don’t turn it in to a cheap 80′s porno.  Keep it classy and passionate.

FriendFlirt Podcast!!!

Hey everyone! Big news here!

I have been approached by Big Sauce Radio Show to come on and co-host a weekly show to discuss online dating, Friend Flirt, relationships, sex, dating in general, and what have you. I am so excited about this! You should check out the show currently, as it’s fantastic already (check it out here). It’s hilarious and lots of fun. Our new FriendFlirt shows will be totally awesome, which you’ll see.

Do you want to be a part of the show? Well, good news! There are several ways you can be involved!

First- We need your online dating horror stories!!! We want to share your horror stories with everyone for a good, clean laugh! Feel free to email your stories to social@friendflirt.com or you can even call our voicemail at 724-472-8235 and we’ll play your story on the air! You can choose to stay anonymous if you’d like or tell us your name- all up to you! But please, send some stories! You could also leave them as comments on this page if you’d like.

Second- Dudes, do you have a sick 6 pack? Ladies, does your man have killer abs? Know a guy that does? Send us pictures for our 6 Pack Brigade! Every week we’ll have a competition on who has the best 6 pack, with prizes!

Third- Ladies, want to show off your pedicure? Join our Pretty Pedi Posse! Same as the 6 Pack Brigade, every week we’ll show off pictures of your pretty tootsies and we’ll have prizes for whoever has the best one!

 

So there’s that! Please subscribe to The Big Sauce Podcast Show and check out the Friend Flirt show!

Our first recording will be Wednesday next week, so please send us your stories and photos now to get them on air for next week’s show!

 

xoxo Jess