I put up a post on Facebook, asking people to send me some online dating success and horror stories. This post is written by a good friend of mine from college, Jenna. While it’s a hilarious story, and I have many like it, I was horrified for Jenna! Talk about Catfish! There are many times throughout this story that I wanted to yell out “NO DON’T DO THAT!”, but dating is all about making horrible mistakes and learning from them. I hope Jenna is having better luck with dating and online dating now!
Where to start, I initially met my first boyfriend online, but through a mutual friend. We dated for a few years and ended up breaking up mutually. A good friend of mine had met her boyfriend on Plenty of Fish and seemed to be pretty happy so I figured, what the hell, I’ll try it.
This website is addicting, basically online shopping for your ‘perfect match’, I’d spend hours on the ‘meet me’ section clicking through men I’d like to meet, and ones that I knew would be forever alone. I had been on dates off and on from POF and nothing was clicking. I was getting close to just deleting my profile because it was more of a nuisance than anything.
One night, a guy emailed me, his profile pictures were pretty attractive and he seemed legitimate in his profile about me. He could spell, had all of his teeth and was looking for a girl that wasn’t a hooker. I seemed to fit what he was looking for. Plus his message was rather catchy, asking me an insane equation wondering if I knew the answer. At the end of the message he writes, I don’t know the answer either but I know that you’re beautiful and you seem really amazing. Hell, if he was going to take the time to be that creative why not give the guy a chance. We started chatting back and forth and eventually started texting. Texting lead to long phone calls, and it seemed like I had finally met my match. He was educated, employed, lived on his own and attractive. We would spend hours talking on the phone about our life and I had become rather smitten.
One week, we had decided to meet up that Friday to go on a date. He lived in Waterville, and I currently in Chelsea, so not a long commute. One night after a long phone call he tells me to come see him, around 1 am. Being spontaneous, and on a whim I got in my car I started to drive to his house. All of a sudden he texts me and says, no, turn around, it’s late. I had told him, I’m already on my way.
He proceeds to tell me he’s ‘gained some weight’ since his current photos, he’s about 6’6″ and in his photos he was athletic and slender, so I envisioned him with a few pounds and couldn’t imagine it being that bad. I told him it was fine, since I’m not all that thin myself.
Finally I arrived at his apartment, the light inside his living room window was on, and I see this giant silhouette of a man and I can’t imagine that’s him. I almost didn’t dare knock on the door, but finally I muster up the courage and knock on his door. A man I was not expecting opened it and invited me in his apartment. It took all I had not to run off within the first few seconds, he looked nothing like his photos, he was well over a 100 pounds more than he was in his pictures and when he talked, he had such a flamboyant twinge in his voice I couldn’t help but cringe. This ‘few pounds’ was an understatement.
Completely caught off guard he and I laid in his bed and starts kissing me, I have to fight the urge to throw up, and eventually I just lay there not talking, thinking of an escape plan. I had kept my jeans and my long sleeve shirt on, and he tries to invite me to take my pants off by saying I must be uncomfortable. Nonchalantly I say, I could sleep in a snowsuit.
More uncomfortable silence ensues and I just can’t force myself to stay there the night, so I finally roll over and say…”Would you hate me if I left right now? it’s late and I should probably be at home”. He goes “No, no…this is a little awkward I understand.” and as I was about to get up and leave he grabs me and tries to romanticize me by kissing me saying I should reconsider. Recoiling I tell him, no, I really need to head home and I practically run out the door.
Probably one of the most awkward nights to ever happen…sadly, that is only one of the many awkward online dating moments I’ve endured