More crappy online dating ‘First Messages’

Hey dudes (and ladies, I’m sure, too). Want to know why no one is responding to your messages on online dating sites? Because you’re sending crappy messages like the following messages I’m about to show you. Please note, these are all word-for-word messages that I’ve received in the past few days.

“Hi. How are you?”

“Hey. What’s going on?”

“You are very beautiful. :)”

How are you. Hope you had good day.
Nice to meet you over here .
How was your day.? I have tell you that you have very beautiful smile .. By reading your profile i would say You are perfect combination of beauty and smart..Any fun stuff planed for these spring days .”

“Hello how are you? I’m (name).”

“Hey how are you? My name is Mark and you are very cute and seem like a nice fun person. You sound like a busy girl and have done some really cool stuff.Hope your having a good day”

“think I’m in love will you marry me 🙂 kidding. how are ya?”


Seriously guys?! COME ON. I know online dating can seem difficult, but it’s really not THAT hard to write a good first message. Good Lord.

face palm

Palm to the face. Ugh.


Horrible Messages, #2

I should come clean. While I am one of the biggest Boston sports fanatics, I have to admit that I despise the Bruins. I can’t even tell you how much I cringe when I see that stupid yellow and black B all over the place. I grew up as a Philadelphia Flyers fan and that’s just how I’m always going to be.

That being said, in my OK Cupid account, I had written in my profile that I cheer on the Flyers. This is a message that I received from a lovely young gentlemen, one of Boston’s most brilliant, shining stars:

Sorry miss as a Flyers fan you shouldn’t even be allowed to breathe Boston’s air. Maybe you should move to Philly, because being a true sports fan you should have respect for the teams where you are especially Boston teams….! No other state will ever measure up to the true Title Town that Boston is. Now if you were any other fan but a Philly fan I would never have sent this….well Montreal as well. I mean how could you route for such a douchbag team from one on the shitiest cities in the US……ugh.

You better believe that I took the bait and argued with him for awhile. What a douche bag thing to say to someone! I don’t troll the site and verbally attack Yankee fans! Why did this guy think this was appropriate.

Loser. No wonder why he’s single.


Generic Online Dating Messages

This is a great post about generic online dating messages. I personally HATE generic messages and this blogger hits the nail on the head with this post. What are your thoughts on messaging while online dating?

Are You Friggin' Kidding Me?

Anyone that does online dating is fully aware of the Generic Message. However, I know some really stupid people. Well, I think they’re stupid. Other people might say that they’re thinking too deep on the subject. I say they’re stupid, because I’m a bitch, pretty much.

Anyway- stupid people. They ask me “well, what do you mean a “generic message”? How do I know what’s generic to each person?”
If you have to ask if your message is generic, it probably is.

Here’s an example of a generic message:

Hey, what’s going on, i am john….I am sure you get about a hundred messages daily, but I think your very attractive, and it’s very rare to find someone with natural beauty and you have it. I read your profile and it seems like we have a lot of compatibility; anyway if your interested hopefully I will hear from you soon

View original post 340 more words

Horrible Messages, #1

I’m going to start a segment of posts that will be centered around actual messages that I (or if you’d like to submit your own, that’s cool, too!) have received in my time during online dating.

This is a message that I got a long time ago and it is a great example of what not to do in a message.

the names a given(as it,comes attatched with the message)ha! however if you want to know more it’s gonna take effort.ha so, if your curious/interested, check out my pic and info on my page. if by then you’ve searched your mind,body(ha jk)soul and decided you want to get to know me, you know what to do. if not,so be it. 


Um, no. That’s just all wrong. Grammar, spelling, and the attitude- no thanks. Nooooo thanks.



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