the lost art of romance

Another fabulous post by Love Guru, Sabatino!

The knot in your throat. Like your tie is too tight and you’re struggling to breathe.

This is what you should be feeling when you truly romance a woman.  Yeah I get it, women like confident men who are fearless, and edgy. But what you’re probably forgetting (and what women are giving up on) is that once in a while they want to see that side of you that only they can bring out- the cheesy, unconditional, “only for you” side.  And sometimes unleashing that inner Romeo takes confidence, fearlessness, and edge.

It should go without saying, but I will clarify that “romancing” and “sleeping with” are two totally separate goals, and should be treated as such.

So, when is the right time to be romantic?  This is ridiculous. Listen. You can’t just be romantic on her birthday and Valentines Day. Try something a little less obvious, like Tuesday.  Maybe you’ve both been hard at work, and your home life has you running in all directions.  Maybe have something prepared when she gets home from a busy day at the office.  And it doesn’t always have to be dinner, and sex should never be expected at the end- however, if you learn to be romantic, you’ll be surprised where things will lead.  Also, don’t get discouraged.  If she’s tired when she gets home and you’re feeling like she doesn’t appreciate your efforts, just let her unwind and relax.  Sometimes a romantic evening together starts with a little alone time.  Trust me, she’ll much more appreciate all you’ve done once she has had time to herself.

Every woman is different and shouldn’t be treated as though she was formed from a cookie cutter, so it’s up to you to decide what “romancing” means in your own relationship.  Take her wants and needs in to careful consideration, and formulate a plan that includes both of you joining together for an evening of love, passion, and fun.  I promise you won’t regret it.


10 Dating Mistakes that Men Make When They’re Interested in a Woman

This is a post written by a friend of the FriendFlirt team, Dave Matthews. He’s the author of Every Man Sees You Naked and is a dating advice columnist at Fabulously40 and Your Tango.

Below is his original post about the 10 Dating Mistakes that Men Make When They’re Interested in a Woman. I hope you enjoy it!!

10 Dating Mistakes Men Make When They’re Interested In A Woman

By David M. Matthews

Dating is a crazy business. It often involves putting oneself in the awkward position of having
to make meaningful and engaging conversation with a virtual stranger while trying to assess
if future encounters will be emotionally/physically/spiritually satisfying on any level. And
you usually have to do this over dinner or drinks while trying desperately not to say something
totally embarrassing or spray your date in the eye with lemon juice meant for your salmon, ice
tea or Corona. Of course you know the things you try to avoid to keep a date running smoothly
(and impress a guy, if indeed, you have any interest). But how about the gaffes, blunders,
and faux pas that men make on dates (while optimistically imaging themselves in your naked
embrace)? The following is a list of ten dating mistakes men make that quickly send your hope
of a possible ongoing relationship into the crapper (Sadly, you’ll probably recognize more than
a few of these from past dates-gone-wrong).

1) Trying to move things along too quickly
Very few things are as much of a turn-off as a guy who’s discussing plans for dates seven,
eight and nine, as the appetizers are being served on date one. He is likely to be perceived
as desperate, controlling, stalker-ish or all three.

2) Not making definite plans or having a specific idea where he wants to go on a date
Especially early on in the dating process, suggesting a specific time, date and place for a
romantic rendezvous is very important. Planning indicates a man cares enough to put a
little thought into his date. Failure to do so is likely to be interpreted as lack of genuine
interest or inability to get his act together – neither of which bode well for a long and happy

3) Talking about his ex’s
We all have baggage. Some, just a small carry-on – others, a steamer trunk. Speak
glowingly of an ex, and it sounds like you’re not over her. Slam her, and you’ll likely reveal
anger issues that aren’t particularly flattering. They’re your “ex’s” because they’re part of
your past. Best to leave them there.

4) Offering to split the bill
No law dictates that a man, simply by virtue of his sex, is required to pay on a date. That
being said, a man who invites a woman out for dinner, then plunks down the cash to cover
his share, expecting her to pony up the remainder will likely not endear himself to his dinner

5) Treating wait-staff poorly
For many women, how a guy interacts with others is a strong indication of how he will
eventually interact with them. Treating a waiter or waitress in a demeaning, condescending,
or disparaging manner is a big old red flag.

6) Being a know-it-all
Confidence is attractive, arrogance…not so much. And an obnoxious, dogmatic windbag is
about as appealing as ringworm.

7) Not listening
Very few non-physical qualities are more appealing to a woman than a man who actually
listens to them. And conversely, nothing is quite so off-putting as a guy who doesn’t.

8) Insisting on discussing topics not of interest to his date
One of the key elements of successful dating is establishing a rapport. A guy blathering on
endlessly about subjects that are fascinating only to him, will most certainly assure his first
date is also his last.

9) Being a “yes” man
Being overly solicitous and agreeing with everything his date says may initially be quite
refreshing and appealing to her. Soon, however, a man’s refusal to offer an opinion of his
own and reluctance to demonstrate he has a backbone, will cause her to lose respect for him,
and without that, the relationship is dead-in-the-water.

10) Regaling his date with stories of his wild past
A guy’s buddies may be infinitely amused by his tales of drunken debauchery, but
confessing his ill-advised exploits on a date, no matter how ‘hilarious,’ is a crap shoot at
best. While his date may be entertained, she may just as easily question his character and
judgment. The smart guy keeps his liquor-soaked nostalgia to himself.

The above is by no means a comprehensive list. There are virtually hundreds of things a
man can inadvertently do to alienate his date. On the other hand, if a guy is really attracted
to you, there are only about two sure-fire ways of throwing cold water on his “fire:” 1) Tell
him that under no circumstances will you ever have sex with him; or 2) Tell him you’re a