big spoon to little spoon- come in little spoon

I always love when Sabatino guest posts!

Say what you will, but I love being the big spoon.


There’s just something to be said about being so close and finding that you fit together like perfect pieces of a puzzle.

Sometimes I crave it.  After a long, stressful day when nothing has gone quite right, there’s nothing I want more than to lazily curl up on the couch or in bed with you, pour us a few glasses of wine, and flip through the latest episodes of Boardwalk Empire.  There’s a certain closeness you get with spooning that you just can’t achieve with other romantic physical activity.  Like, feeling your back up against my chest, hips completely in sync, our legs tangled beneath the covers, and my lips dangerously close to your neck and ears.  To be a little cliche, it really is as if two become one, working together in complete harmony.

I find that spooning, at least for me, is the perfect time to bond with your significant other- when you’re smooshed up against each other and yet it still feels like you can’t get close enough.

For those of you who aren’t keen on spooning, keep in mind that women are very sensually oriented.  Luckily for me [as I’ll never admit to being the most handsome man in the world] they mostly respond to body heat, subtle touches, and fresh scents rather than visual stimulation.  This makes spooning the perfect opportunity to segway in to your other agendas, as your hands and lips are free to roam her body-scape. Plus, being the big spoon puts you in a position of control- something I find most women crave out of the men in their relationships.

Here are a few quick tips for all the big spoons out there.  First of all, your lips anywhere near her neck and ears will drive her crazy. Even kissing the back of her neck, just below the hair line will give her chills.  Subtly kissing her shoulders and the length of her back will peak her interest.  In fact, try running your lips in a curvy pattern down her back without ever lifting them up, slowly working your way down and up again, finishing just behind her ear.  Combine these techniques while firmly gripping her hips and pulling her close to you and you may be in for a long night.  When she turns around and throws her arms around you, you’ll know it’s on- just do me a favor and please don’t turn it in to a cheap 80′s porno.  Keep it classy and passionate.


um yes, let’s make out

This is another post written by one of our love gurus, Sabatino! It has to do with one of MY favorite activities- making out!


The stuff trashy romance novels are made of.

Or at least usually how they start and end, with a lot of crazy stuff in between.

You’re at a party. You catch eyes with a girl from across the room and there’s instant attraction.  You saunter over and introduce yourself in your best Barry White voice.  “Good evening, I’m Sabatino; I couldn’t help but notice you from across the room”.  A conversation erupts and you find out she loves fine wine just as much as you do, and although she’s Irish, she kind of looks Italian, so you’re cool with that.  You spend the rest of the night exchanging witty banter and as the party begins winding down, you find yourselves passionately engaged in a steamy make-out session in the garden- and the kitchen- and again in the driveway- and in your car behind Walmart, even though you know it’s not classy but, damn it, you just need a quiet and dark corner.

But I digress.  Remember that feeling when everything was new and you couldn’t wait to tear each other’s clothes off?  Why is it that most relationships fall out of this “honeymoon stage” after a short period of time?  I truly believe making out saves relationships.  Yeah I know there are going to be a lot of nay-sayers about this one, but think about it!  Making out is the cornerstone of a sexually healthy and bonded relationship!  It’s the gateway to a more physically gratifying partnership. It’s a reminder that as we get older, our love stays young and strong.  It can transcend acceptance and commitment!

Today I issue you this challenge.  Find someone to make out with.  It could be a spouse, a significant other, good friend, love interest, or anyone else you’ve been dying to lock lips with.  If you’re married, grab your husband or wife and look them in the eyes.  Tell them sincerely that you love them and go in for the kill. It will be fun!  You may be a bit rusty if you haven’t made out in a while, but it’s like riding a bike- you’ll pick it up again. I strongly urge those of you who are in relationships to set aside ten minutes each week to spend alone time with your partner- for heaven’s sake you need to remind each other that you’re still in love!

If that’s not enough for you, here are some basic health benefits to smooching:

1) It can help prevent tooth decay.

2) It’s a stress reliever

3) Kissing burns calories.

4) It can boost your immunity.

Plus, you’ll make every other couple around you jealous.  In my opinion, making out is vital to a healthy relationship, no matter how long you’ve been together- and with so much passion flying around the room, expect to see changes in your partner that you haven’t seen since the first time you met.

Hi, I’m Sabatino. Who wants in on this?

Landing the girl (or guy!) of your dreams!

While doing some research this weekend, I stumbled across an article by Thomas Edwards of The Professional Wingman. I’m personally a fan of Mr. Edwards’ work, but liked this article before I even realized he wrote it.

Anyway, the article is on how to get the girl of your dreams, but I feel that these tips can be used by guys and gals equally. I’ll link you to the article here, but there was one tip I wanted to focus on because I thought it was really interesting and awesome.

Make it a suggestion, not a question. When you ask anyone a yes or no question, you give them the opportunity to say no. Instead, make a affirmative statement that you’d like to take her out. Once again, it makes her more likely to say yes, when it’s a suggestion she can go with.

I think this tip is brilliant and will be trying it out as soon as possible. I feel that this tip can be used for anything- not just dating. It’ll be much easier to get a group of my friends to watch a movie of my choosing if I suggest it rather than ask it.

I digress. Obviously this is a great tip for dating. I know that if a guy were to say “Hey Jess, I’d like to take you to this show on Friday”, I’d be more willing to go than if he flat out asked me if I wanted to go. Not only that, but if he were smooth enough in saying it, I’d be slightly turned on by the alpha male-ness of the suggestion and feel that I couldn’t say no- in a good way, that is. I’m curious as to what your thoughts are!

So tell me- how do you ask someone out?


xoxo Jess

10 Dating Mistakes that Men Make When They’re Interested in a Woman

This is a post written by a friend of the FriendFlirt team, Dave Matthews. He’s the author of Every Man Sees You Naked and is a dating advice columnist at Fabulously40 and Your Tango.

Below is his original post about the 10 Dating Mistakes that Men Make When They’re Interested in a Woman. I hope you enjoy it!!

10 Dating Mistakes Men Make When They’re Interested In A Woman

By David M. Matthews

Dating is a crazy business. It often involves putting oneself in the awkward position of having
to make meaningful and engaging conversation with a virtual stranger while trying to assess
if future encounters will be emotionally/physically/spiritually satisfying on any level. And
you usually have to do this over dinner or drinks while trying desperately not to say something
totally embarrassing or spray your date in the eye with lemon juice meant for your salmon, ice
tea or Corona. Of course you know the things you try to avoid to keep a date running smoothly
(and impress a guy, if indeed, you have any interest). But how about the gaffes, blunders,
and faux pas that men make on dates (while optimistically imaging themselves in your naked
embrace)? The following is a list of ten dating mistakes men make that quickly send your hope
of a possible ongoing relationship into the crapper (Sadly, you’ll probably recognize more than
a few of these from past dates-gone-wrong).

1) Trying to move things along too quickly
Very few things are as much of a turn-off as a guy who’s discussing plans for dates seven,
eight and nine, as the appetizers are being served on date one. He is likely to be perceived
as desperate, controlling, stalker-ish or all three.

2) Not making definite plans or having a specific idea where he wants to go on a date
Especially early on in the dating process, suggesting a specific time, date and place for a
romantic rendezvous is very important. Planning indicates a man cares enough to put a
little thought into his date. Failure to do so is likely to be interpreted as lack of genuine
interest or inability to get his act together – neither of which bode well for a long and happy

3) Talking about his ex’s
We all have baggage. Some, just a small carry-on – others, a steamer trunk. Speak
glowingly of an ex, and it sounds like you’re not over her. Slam her, and you’ll likely reveal
anger issues that aren’t particularly flattering. They’re your “ex’s” because they’re part of
your past. Best to leave them there.

4) Offering to split the bill
No law dictates that a man, simply by virtue of his sex, is required to pay on a date. That
being said, a man who invites a woman out for dinner, then plunks down the cash to cover
his share, expecting her to pony up the remainder will likely not endear himself to his dinner

5) Treating wait-staff poorly
For many women, how a guy interacts with others is a strong indication of how he will
eventually interact with them. Treating a waiter or waitress in a demeaning, condescending,
or disparaging manner is a big old red flag.

6) Being a know-it-all
Confidence is attractive, arrogance…not so much. And an obnoxious, dogmatic windbag is
about as appealing as ringworm.

7) Not listening
Very few non-physical qualities are more appealing to a woman than a man who actually
listens to them. And conversely, nothing is quite so off-putting as a guy who doesn’t.

8) Insisting on discussing topics not of interest to his date
One of the key elements of successful dating is establishing a rapport. A guy blathering on
endlessly about subjects that are fascinating only to him, will most certainly assure his first
date is also his last.

9) Being a “yes” man
Being overly solicitous and agreeing with everything his date says may initially be quite
refreshing and appealing to her. Soon, however, a man’s refusal to offer an opinion of his
own and reluctance to demonstrate he has a backbone, will cause her to lose respect for him,
and without that, the relationship is dead-in-the-water.

10) Regaling his date with stories of his wild past
A guy’s buddies may be infinitely amused by his tales of drunken debauchery, but
confessing his ill-advised exploits on a date, no matter how ‘hilarious,’ is a crap shoot at
best. While his date may be entertained, she may just as easily question his character and
judgment. The smart guy keeps his liquor-soaked nostalgia to himself.

The above is by no means a comprehensive list. There are virtually hundreds of things a
man can inadvertently do to alienate his date. On the other hand, if a guy is really attracted
to you, there are only about two sure-fire ways of throwing cold water on his “fire:” 1) Tell
him that under no circumstances will you ever have sex with him; or 2) Tell him you’re a

Online Dating vs. Social Network Dating

People keep asking me about Friend Flirt and why I think it’ll be so much more awesome than other typical online dating sites.

Well, buddy, let me tell you.

I’ve been online dating for a few years, personally. However, I’ve only lived in Boston since August 2011, so we’ll just talk about my experience since I’ve come to live in the Hub.

I’ve tried several different sites. Some sites I found to be quite skeezy. Whether it was a crappy web design or just the users themselves, some sites just didn’t please me. Other sites, I found to be alright, but nothing was coming out of it. I went on many MANY dates through online dating- a few second and third dates, too. I saw potential in some guys, but there were always flaws that I found with each guy that just didn’t work out (not neccessarily online dating’s fault alone, but nonetheless- none of those guys have worked out). Then there were the guys I didn’t go out with. The guys with the RIDICULOUS profiles and OUTRAGEOUS messages were awful. Then there were the fake profiles. Like this one guy that had 20 different profiles, but it was all him. Another guy messaged me, set up a date, and then deleted his profile! We never went out! Oh, and then there was the guy that had like no profile at all and only 2 awkwardly posed photos so you couldn’t really see him. I went out on a whim and went out with him- pretty sure he’s married or his a girlfriend. Great. So yea, rolling the dice with online dating, while fun, is mostly nerve wracking.


To date, my most successful “relationship” since I’ve moved to Boston is with this guy I’ve been casually seeing for the past few months. We actually met in person, through a mutual friend, at a party. Which leads me to why I think Friend Flirt will work better than regular online dating.

Friend Flirt is going to first of all eliminate those ridiculous “about me” sections and horribly put together profiles. Also, you won’t have to worry about what photos to post, because your facebook photos will already be there! And don’t worry about those fake profiles and scammers- only real people will be on Friend Flirt! And even better- those real people are your friends’ friends! No need to worry about Catfish, here!

Who knows you better than your friends? No one. So who better than your friends to hook you up? Exactly!

So what are you waiting for? Friend Flirt will be launching before Valentine’s Day so hurry up and sign up to be a Beta tester!

Make sure to pass it along to your friends as well!!

xoxo Jess