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Let’s Flirt episode 3-26-13

Want to see last night’s episode? We featured EB and Silas from That’s What She Said – Boston!

 

 

 

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big spoon to little spoon- come in little spoon

I always love when Sabatino guest posts!

Say what you will, but I love being the big spoon.

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There’s just something to be said about being so close and finding that you fit together like perfect pieces of a puzzle.

Sometimes I crave it.  After a long, stressful day when nothing has gone quite right, there’s nothing I want more than to lazily curl up on the couch or in bed with you, pour us a few glasses of wine, and flip through the latest episodes of Boardwalk Empire.  There’s a certain closeness you get with spooning that you just can’t achieve with other romantic physical activity.  Like, feeling your back up against my chest, hips completely in sync, our legs tangled beneath the covers, and my lips dangerously close to your neck and ears.  To be a little cliche, it really is as if two become one, working together in complete harmony.

I find that spooning, at least for me, is the perfect time to bond with your significant other- when you’re smooshed up against each other and yet it still feels like you can’t get close enough.

For those of you who aren’t keen on spooning, keep in mind that women are very sensually oriented.  Luckily for me [as I’ll never admit to being the most handsome man in the world] they mostly respond to body heat, subtle touches, and fresh scents rather than visual stimulation.  This makes spooning the perfect opportunity to segway in to your other agendas, as your hands and lips are free to roam her body-scape. Plus, being the big spoon puts you in a position of control- something I find most women crave out of the men in their relationships.

Here are a few quick tips for all the big spoons out there.  First of all, your lips anywhere near her neck and ears will drive her crazy. Even kissing the back of her neck, just below the hair line will give her chills.  Subtly kissing her shoulders and the length of her back will peak her interest.  In fact, try running your lips in a curvy pattern down her back without ever lifting them up, slowly working your way down and up again, finishing just behind her ear.  Combine these techniques while firmly gripping her hips and pulling her close to you and you may be in for a long night.  When she turns around and throws her arms around you, you’ll know it’s on- just do me a favor and please don’t turn it in to a cheap 80′s porno.  Keep it classy and passionate.

the lost art of romance

Another fabulous post by Love Guru, Sabatino!

The knot in your throat. Like your tie is too tight and you’re struggling to breathe.

This is what you should be feeling when you truly romance a woman.  Yeah I get it, women like confident men who are fearless, and edgy. But what you’re probably forgetting (and what women are giving up on) is that once in a while they want to see that side of you that only they can bring out- the cheesy, unconditional, “only for you” side.  And sometimes unleashing that inner Romeo takes confidence, fearlessness, and edge.

It should go without saying, but I will clarify that “romancing” and “sleeping with” are two totally separate goals, and should be treated as such.

So, when is the right time to be romantic?  This is ridiculous. Listen. You can’t just be romantic on her birthday and Valentines Day. Try something a little less obvious, like Tuesday.  Maybe you’ve both been hard at work, and your home life has you running in all directions.  Maybe have something prepared when she gets home from a busy day at the office.  And it doesn’t always have to be dinner, and sex should never be expected at the end- however, if you learn to be romantic, you’ll be surprised where things will lead.  Also, don’t get discouraged.  If she’s tired when she gets home and you’re feeling like she doesn’t appreciate your efforts, just let her unwind and relax.  Sometimes a romantic evening together starts with a little alone time.  Trust me, she’ll much more appreciate all you’ve done once she has had time to herself.

Every woman is different and shouldn’t be treated as though she was formed from a cookie cutter, so it’s up to you to decide what “romancing” means in your own relationship.  Take her wants and needs in to careful consideration, and formulate a plan that includes both of you joining together for an evening of love, passion, and fun.  I promise you won’t regret it.

Grown Up Relationships – What do you do with them?

Here’s another post from Jane at Singleosophy and Are You Friggin’ Kidding Me?

What do you do with a grown up relationship?

 

This is something I’ve been thinking about since I graduated college in 2008. More so now that I actually feel like more of a “grown up” with my own apartment and dating in the big city.

So okay. You’re hanging out with this guy. You’re hanging out quite a bit. Everything is going awesome. You’re not seeing anyone else and positive he’s not seeing anyone else either. What now?

What I mean is- at what point do they become “Boyfriend” or “Girlfriend”?

I didn’t date much in college. I had one serious boyfriend and he just outright said “is it cool if I call you my girlfriend?” and it was done.

How does that happen in grown up land?

Also- the word “Boyfriend” or “Girlfriend” just sounds so silly to me, as an adult.

I know that labels aren’t everything, but let’s face it- most of us (women…..) like the label. It just makes things easier when introducing your partner to someone or when you’re talking about them.

So assuming that we’re going to be labeling things, what the fuck do you do with a grown up relationship?

The Three Month Mark

Here’s another post by our Love Guru, Bossy Moksie!

 

Most of my dates don’t go beyond the three month mark.

I notice things right away that I know won’t gel with me for a long period of time. And if there’s not much to offset this, then I’m outta there! It’s better to do this sooner rather than later. As time goes on, you get attached and too comfortable to let go of someone who is not right for you.

How do you know?

You have to listen to yourself.

If I don’t feel completely comfortable opening up and being myself, then I know it won’t work. This is after the first few dates of getting used to being around each other. Why would I want to be with someone negative, arrogant or doesn’t get me or doesn’t have the same values? I know that won’t work longterm. So why stay longer than one date? Or in some cases, three months?

Sometimes after a few dates, I will try to talk myself into it. Because there are things I do enjoy about this person. His company or humor or the way he works that white business shirt. But after awhile, I just know we are wasting time and three months is the longest I can take it. It’s best to face the reality and own up to it, then just be with someone for the sake of being someone. Plus if you’re wasting your time on someone you know isn’t right for you, then you won’t have the chance to meet someon who is!

How and when did some of you ladies know your guy was the one? Or not the one?

Same question to the guys.

um yes, let’s make out

This is another post written by one of our love gurus, Sabatino! It has to do with one of MY favorite activities- making out!

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The stuff trashy romance novels are made of.

Or at least usually how they start and end, with a lot of crazy stuff in between.

You’re at a party. You catch eyes with a girl from across the room and there’s instant attraction.  You saunter over and introduce yourself in your best Barry White voice.  “Good evening, I’m Sabatino; I couldn’t help but notice you from across the room”.  A conversation erupts and you find out she loves fine wine just as much as you do, and although she’s Irish, she kind of looks Italian, so you’re cool with that.  You spend the rest of the night exchanging witty banter and as the party begins winding down, you find yourselves passionately engaged in a steamy make-out session in the garden- and the kitchen- and again in the driveway- and in your car behind Walmart, even though you know it’s not classy but, damn it, you just need a quiet and dark corner.

But I digress.  Remember that feeling when everything was new and you couldn’t wait to tear each other’s clothes off?  Why is it that most relationships fall out of this “honeymoon stage” after a short period of time?  I truly believe making out saves relationships.  Yeah I know there are going to be a lot of nay-sayers about this one, but think about it!  Making out is the cornerstone of a sexually healthy and bonded relationship!  It’s the gateway to a more physically gratifying partnership. It’s a reminder that as we get older, our love stays young and strong.  It can transcend acceptance and commitment!

Today I issue you this challenge.  Find someone to make out with.  It could be a spouse, a significant other, good friend, love interest, or anyone else you’ve been dying to lock lips with.  If you’re married, grab your husband or wife and look them in the eyes.  Tell them sincerely that you love them and go in for the kill. It will be fun!  You may be a bit rusty if you haven’t made out in a while, but it’s like riding a bike- you’ll pick it up again. I strongly urge those of you who are in relationships to set aside ten minutes each week to spend alone time with your partner- for heaven’s sake you need to remind each other that you’re still in love!

If that’s not enough for you, here are some basic health benefits to smooching:

1) It can help prevent tooth decay.

2) It’s a stress reliever

3) Kissing burns calories.

4) It can boost your immunity.

Plus, you’ll make every other couple around you jealous.  In my opinion, making out is vital to a healthy relationship, no matter how long you’ve been together- and with so much passion flying around the room, expect to see changes in your partner that you haven’t seen since the first time you met.

Hi, I’m Sabatino. Who wants in on this?

Why Confidence is SOOOOO Important!

Here we go with another blog post from a Love Guru! This one is from Ms. Bossy Moksie.
As usual, this is a great post and it’s something that I’ve preached to people a million times- hopefully if you didn’t get it before, you’ll get it now.
Why Confidence is SOOOOOO Important
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As you know, I think pretty highly of myself.
It’s not so that I can brag about myself and my life all the time.
It’s not to insist that you think that I am amazing and awesome as I think I am.
In truth, I like to think highly of myself because it’s FUN!
It’s really a great feeling to put yourself first and stand up for yourself and make sure that you are squeezing every bit of joy and laughter out of whichever situations you may be in. You also can expect and demand the good stuff, and most of the time, you get it!
Who wants to be around a the wallflower cowering in the corner?
Who wants to be around the spoil sport hater, who has to put others and everything else down in order to make themselves feel better?
Who wants to be around that person who is always brings the conversation back to them and how allegedly awesome they are unless that person is me?
Who wants to be around that person who is so wasted and high that they can’t complete sentences, let alone function in any way?
Who wants to be around the person who just can’t SHUT UP!!!!
Not me! And I’m sure most of you feel the same.
Being around insecure, unconfident people is EXHAUSTING. It’s not fun, pleasant, or attractive. Nine times out of ten, it’s the reason your date has run the other way.
Don’t be that unconfident person that someone else has to put up with on a date.
How can you be more confident? For me, having confidence means accepting who you are and what you got, the good and the bad and the ugly. Then you OWN it. Maybe there are things you want to work on and improve. Or maybe you don’t. Either way, no one is perfect.
You could be an unemployed hunchback who smells like cats. But if you accept that and are secure with yourself, someone will be able to enjoy you and your company.
Probably not the person who hates cats. But someone.
People like being around confident, secure people, and it’s attractive. Why? Because it’s the opposite of all that drama I listed above!
Help them, help you to enjoy yourself! By being confident, you are going to enjoy life more, and people will enjoy being around you. And that’s always a great place to be!