One of the dating experts that I’ve discovered in the twitterverse is Dr. Christie Hartman. I really enjoy her writing think she’s full of a lot of great knowledge. She’s down to earth and realistic. I just really like her.
So I’ve been surfing through her website, checking out older blog posts on dating and relationships. She’s written a series of blog posts for “Intellectual Badasses”, as she calls us, and there was a group of posts that dealt with online dating. The post in particular that peaked my interest was on what to expect from online dating.
You should check her article out, but I’ll hi-light some of the points I found exceptionally true and awesome.
Dating Online is a Numbers Game
In conventional dating, you’ve met the person and developed at least some interest in him or her before you go on a date. Thus, the weeding out process begins before you go on any dates. Online dating is different: you have to go out with someone to even know if there’s interest. In other words, the weeding process often occurs during or after a date.
What this means is that you have to chat with and go out with far more people than in conventional dating, and it takes weeding through a lot more people before you find a “good” one.
I can’t stress that point enough. Online Dating is a process and to get anywhere, you’ll have to date a few people at once and then weed out the ones you don’t want while you stick with the one you DO want.
First Dates are Different
The conventional first date is dinner, possibly more. And why not? You’ve probably already established mutual interest and a longer, more involved date is warranted. When dating online, first dates are shorter, less involved, and cost less. Really, a first online date isn’t a date at all – it’s a “meet-and-greet,” an opportunity to meet someone and decide if a date is warranted. If you view it otherwise, it can raise expectations too high.
Oh look, someone else agree with Laurie and me when it comes to the first meeting.
Men: Not Getting Replies is Normal
Women: Getting Emails from the Wrong Men is Normal
Boom. There it is.
Alright- so make sure you check out Dr. Hartman’s website. She’s got a lot of great posts. I’ll definitely be linking to her a lot from here, too.