This is a post written by another one of my fantastic Love Gurus, Sabatino. You can check out his blog at hotcupoflove.com
When he sent me this article, I was sitting at a bar watching a really, really, bad Patriots game. As I took a few minutes to read this, I almost jumped onto the table and cheered. I think this is an amazing piece and I hope that you all take it to heart.
It’s okay; there are plenty of fish in the sea.
If you’ve had a dating track record like mine, I’m sure you’ve heard this tired line a million times. Also if you’re anything like me, you find it less consoling each time.
The truth is you don’t want the other fish in the sea, you want this particular fish and no matter how far you cast your line, she’s just not biting. Okay, I promise that’s the last of the fishing references, but I think we can both agree- I get you.
When a person decides they’re going to search for a potential mate, whether they consciously choose to think it or not, they have an image in their head of what exactly they’re looking for- and this applies to both web based dating services as well as in person. So, if you introduce yourself to someone and they give you the cold shoulder [which happens to me more than I’d like to admit], don’t take it personally! You’re probably just not fitting their image exactly as they had envisioned today. Move on to the next person and try again.
Many of you may not know that before I started writing about love and relationships, I was a trained chef. In culinary school we had a two theories about making a good soup. The first was ‘garbage in, garbage out’- always use the best ingredients. In dating this translates to always putting your best foot forward, if you present yourself to be homeless, expect to attract someone homeless. The other, and perhaps more relevant to today’s topic, was that you have to make split-pea soup one hundred times before you get the perfect bowl. Of course here we’re not making soup, but I like to use this analogy in dating as well. The odds of you meeting the ideal person on the first try are slim, but after a hundred tries, you just may find yourself with the perfect bowl…er, person. Don’t be afraid of making mistakes and ruining the soup, because each time is a learning experience that helps build the foundation for the next batch.
Did I lose you on all the food analogies? Aren’t you now craving a hot bowl of soup?? Yeah, this is why I never get anything done around here. Okay, first order of business, find yourself some soup- but then, get out there and find your soul mate! You know they’re just sitting around waiting for you to introduce yourself.
Oh! And if my soul mate is reading this, please know that I’m coming for you and I don’t care how many soups I have to screw up to find you.
Sabatino @ hotcupoflove.com