Straight up, now tell me

One of the biggest pains of dating these days is trying to figure out if you’re on the same page as the person you’re dating.

For me personally, I’ve gone into every first date open minded. I keep myself cool and remember that it’s just meeting a new guy. Going out with a new guy doesn’t mean I’m meeting my next serious boyfriend. However, the guy MAY be my next serious boyfriend, so I don’t want to play too cool either.

However, it’s always hard to see where the guy is coming from.

At least on a first date, we can all play it cool. When it gets into a situation where we start seeing each other more often and maybe get physical, it’s hard to tell where you stand unless you have “the chat”.

I hate “the chat”.

And half the time, that chat is only half sided. I can’t tell you how many times that I’ve tried to ask a guy what he wanted from me (in a more eloquent way, obviously) and he’ll tell me something pretty that he thinks I want to hear.

What he doesn’t know is that that’s never what I want to hear. Just be honest!!

I feel that for me, a lot of guys assume that I’m just searching for a serious relationship. No, no. There have been a few guys that I’ve dated and gotten physical with, but never wanted a serious relationship with so I was fine with keeping things light and fun. Yes, ladies like to have those kinds of “friends”, too!

Whatever happened to just being straight up with other people? Why can’t you just say “Nah, I’m not looking for a relationship right now, but I do like fooling around with you.”?

Because you think the other person will react poorly?

Yea, I guess that does happen. But isn’t it easier to rip off a band aid quickly than to peel it off slowly?

I honestly think that if people would just be honest, the “crazy” stereotype that some of us ladies get would fizzle out a little. I mean, you might get  couple crazy texts, but they’d die out. And wouldn’t it be better to just deal with those quickly, rather to string her along and have her develop all kinds of feelings? Things get crazier that way.

And of course, this can be for men or women, straight or gay.

So, I leave you with the wise wise words of Ms Paula Abdul, and by words I mean awesome music video:

So tell me followers, how do you handle these situations? When do you have the chat to make sure you’re on the same page?

 

xoxo Jess

http://www.friendflirt.com
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@FriendFlirt

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