More crappy online dating ‘First Messages’

Hey dudes (and ladies, I’m sure, too). Want to know why no one is responding to your messages on online dating sites? Because you’re sending crappy messages like the following messages I’m about to show you. Please note, these are all word-for-word messages that I’ve received in the past few days.

“Hi. How are you?”

“Hey. What’s going on?”

“You are very beautiful. :)”

“Hello
How are you. Hope you had good day.
Nice to meet you over here .
How was your day.? I have tell you that you have very beautiful smile .. By reading your profile i would say You are perfect combination of beauty and smart..Any fun stuff planed for these spring days .”

“Hello how are you? I’m (name).”

“Hey how are you? My name is Mark and you are very cute and seem like a nice fun person. You sound like a busy girl and have done some really cool stuff.Hope your having a good day”

“think I’m in love will you marry me :) kidding. how are ya?”

“tits”

Seriously guys?! COME ON. I know online dating can seem difficult, but it’s really not THAT hard to write a good first message. Good Lord.

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Palm to the face. Ugh.

Foxy Lady Friday: Emma Stone!

 

 

 

 

I love Emma Stone. She’s hilarious AND hot.

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You’ve seen her in funny movies like Superbad, Zombieland, House Bunny, and Easy A. See: she’s comic gold.

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She was also great in The Help. So there: she can be in more serious films, too.

 

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I also love this little tidbit of information about her, too: she gave a Powerpoint presentation to her parents, set to the Madonna song “Hollywood”, to convince them to let her move to California for an acting career. She dropped out of high school, and in January 2004, moved with her mother to a Los Angeles apartment, at the age of fifteen. She was then home schooled, so that she could audition during the day.

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Here’s to you, Emma!

Online Dating Annoyance #1 and #2

You know what drives me absolutely insane on online dating profiles?

OUTDATED PROFILE PICTURES.

I just noticed this guy looked at my account, so I went on over to his page and was scrolling through the photos. The first 1-2 photos were a couple months old, but that’s okay. Then they got older and older. He had photos that were labelled 2008. 2008!!!!!!!!! I could get over one old photo, maybe. Maybe. I have a pic of me, that is hilarious mind you, that’s of me being eaten by this hippo thing at a playground in my Army uniform. It’s a few years old, but I throw that ONE photo in there for a few reasons: I was in the military for real and I’m hilarious. 

But to have multiple photos going that far back in time? No. No no no.

 

And you know what else drives me insane? Same guy, last photo. It’s of him and this girl who is kissing his cheek. It’s labelled “2008 party with one of my oldest friends, but we don’t talk much anymore.”  Hi, yea, that’s code for “my ex girlfriend”.

Never ever ever put photos up that have people of the same sex as what you’re looking for in your profile. ESPECIALLY kissing ones. 

UGH! C’mon, people!!

Man Candy Monday: Baseball Edition

This is a different kind of Man Candy Monday for this week. If you know me at all, it’s no secret that I’m a GIANT OBNOXIOUS Red Sox fan. I even work at Fenway Park. That aside, today is the Home Opener for the Boston Red Sox. While last week was the season opener for this year, I’m especially excited today.

I promise you, that I’m actually a real baseball fan for more reasons than the attractive players on the field. However, when I saw this post on Buzzfeed, I had to reblog it for you.

So, if you will, please check out the Bootylicious Tribute to Baseball Butts. It’s way to great to not check out.

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Foxy Lady Friday: Ladies of ‘Pretty Little Liars’

Guilty Pleasure Alert! I freaking LOVE Pretty Little Liars. It’s pretty awkward, since a 3rd grader was the one who got me to watch it and now I’m obsessed. Anyway, the girls on this show are all absolutely stunning! So to counteract my Men of Revenge post, here’s Ladies of Pretty Little Liars for Foxy Lady Friday!

First is Troian Bellisario who plays Spencer Hastings.

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Then we have Shay Mitchell who plays Emily Fields.

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And Lucy Hale who plays Aria Montgomery.

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My favorite Little Liar would be Hanna Marin, played by Ashley Benson. You may also recognize her from the new movie Spring Breakers.

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So if you want a cheesy guilty pleasure, check out Pretty Little Liars. Or, just look up these ladies because they’re absolutely fabulous.

Man Candy Monday: Men of ‘Revenge’

Happy Man Candy Monday! Today is a special one: I’m featuring the sexy men on the cast of Revenge!

 

First there is Nick Wechsler who plays Jack Porter, the bartender and owner of The Stowaway. Scruffy and sexy!

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Then there’s Joshua Bowman who plays Daniel Grayson, CEO of Grayson Global (and the prodigal son of the creepy Grayson family). Helllooooooo hotness.

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Even Gabriel Mann who plays Nolan Ross, the CEO and founder of Nolcorp. Nerdy can be hot, too!

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But my absolute favorite would be Barry Sloane, who plays Aiden Mathis, Emily’s partner in getting revenge. Just look at the man: pure.sex.

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If you don’t watch Revenge, I suggest you start now. I mean, it’s a fantastic show that is loosely based on the Count of Monte Cristo. However, if you’re not into the story line, just watch it for the MEN! Gahhh!

revenge

 

Happy Man Candy Monday!

Foxy Lady Friday: Christina Hendricks

In keeping with my preparing for the newest season of Mad Men, I declare Christina Hendricks as my Foxy Lady Friday winner.

15th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards, Shrine Auditorium, Los Angeles, America - 25 Jan 2009

First things first, VA-VA-VOOM! Look at those gorgeous natural curves that this woman has! As a fellow hour-glass shaped lady, I just adore Christina’s figure.

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Did you know she’s actually a natural blonde? She’s been dying her hair red since she was 10.

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Random talent: She really does play the accordion. I thought it was just part of the script when she busted it out on Mad Men. No! She really does play! So awesome (and I’m jealous)!

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She’s also featured in the music video for one of my favorite songs “The Ghost Inside” by the Broken Bells. So that’s totally awesome.

We love you, Christina Hendricks!